I wanna be a female bear...

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.


You do nothing but sleep for six months.


I could deal with that.


Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.


I could deal with that, too.


If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while

you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.


I could definitely deal with that.



If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.


You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.


If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.


I could deal with that.


If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.

He EXPECTS that you will have hairy lets and excess body fat.

Yup...I wanna be a bear.


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Created November 30, 2002