WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Politically
Incorrect Responses:
GEORGE W.
BUSH
I don't
think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE
I invented
the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road
represented the application of these two different functions of government in a
new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH
NADER
The
chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrialist greed. The
chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road
because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT
BUCHANAN
To steal a
job from a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH
LIMBAUGH
I don't
know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government
grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a
support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA
STEWART
No one
called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR. SEUSS
Did the
chicken cross the road?
Did he
cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it
crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY
To
die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN
LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision
a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day,
we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.
BARBARA
WALTERS
Isn't that
interesting? In a few moments we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of
how it suffered a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN
LENNON
Imagine
all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the
nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a
historical inevitability.
SADDAM
HUSSEIN
This was
an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons
of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not
agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do
it.
CAPTAIN
KIRK
To boldly
go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it
cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before
you believe it?
SIGMUND
FREUD
The fact that
you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have
just released e-Chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of e-Chicken.
ALBERT
EINSTEIN
Did the
chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL
CLINTON
I did not
cross the road with THAT chicken. What
do you mean by chicken? Could you
define chicken please?
THE BIBLE
And God
came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt
cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL
SANDERS
I missed
one?
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Created January 03, 2003